I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
