is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
