I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The best revenge is premature balding
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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