Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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