Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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