fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
