THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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