So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
