they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
