It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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