it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
