I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
