insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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