id be glad to
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
