i just had sex bonerless
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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