Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
