just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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