You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
