Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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