I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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