its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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