i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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