Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
