I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
