Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
