I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
