She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
