wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
When are your genitals available?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
