Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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