His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Be still, my beating vagina.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
