Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
