Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
