office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
