I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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