At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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