all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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