Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize