You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
