The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
