The best revenge is premature balding
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
