I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
