I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
