Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
