We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
