we're blogging at a bar
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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