it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
