so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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