I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
