How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
