i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
they're like a gay fantastic four
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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