I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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