If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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