The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
